Teenagers.
Need I say more?

I sometimes wish I could go back to those younger years. Preschool, toddler, baby.
I reminisce and miss those sweet hugs and kisses. I miss being tugged on and those little voices calling "mom, mom, mom!".  Silly, right? *sigh* Not in my mommy brain. Those kiddos have grown so fast that I can barely believe it!  I remember nights (when they were babies) thinking; "Wow, this feels like FOREVER". Lack of sleep doesn't help.

Was it worth it? Of course! Every step forward was treated as a victory and every step back was taken lightly and dismissed as nothing more than a minor hindrance on our way to another victory.

Life seems to go so quickly. I never wished away any of those sweet baby years.....but I tell ya what; I am truly wishing these teen years would vanish. No hugs, no sweetness. A lot of sass and confusion. Loads of hormones, crying and yelling. (Yes, both me AND the teens.)

Maybe one day I will look back and wish I could be here again. Maybe one day I will see what I can't see now and understand. For now, though, I keep moving forward because I know that there will be more victories and I can't wait to celebrate them.



ps. I do cherish every God-given day. It might be the last.  

Morning Thoughts

Good Morning.

What a fine, cold April we seem to be having. Such a disappointment from what I was expecting. A bit of a shock and very disheartening.......Well, I could also be describing something else. My attitude.

This morning I was reading devotions and, lo and behold, I was convicted. *sigh*
"Convicted" seems like an ugly word to me....and an ugly feeling. Kinda like someone just shone another bright light on a dark corner of my life and exposed me.

I don't like being exposed.
I don't like thinking I need change or work harder or get better.
But I do.
I know I do.

What I read really rang with truth and not because it's a problem I have, but it's one that I have constantly wrestled with. Imperfect Progress.

It's that life dance we all do; 2 steps forward and 1 step back.  

It's that 1 step back that is discouraging and sometimes has us feeling as if the 2 steps forward aren't worth it anymore.  

I know ya'll know what I mean.

Every morning I used to mull over how difficult it was to be patient and speak lovingly in the chaos that is my house. I would try. Really, I did!  But to no avail on some mornings. I felt like a failure whenever my mouth would shoot out fire instead of grace. Burning those around me instead of loving them. So much sadness.

So this morning, as I am reading devotions, specifically one by Lysa Terkurst, and I see she (once again) has hit the nail on the head. Stating that "Sometimes we girls think if we don't make instant progress, then real change isn't coming."  Now, you can apply that to just about anything we do, but this morning she was talking about "Unglued Mornings" where we moms can just be surrounded by craziness and coming unglued. 

Lysa states "There is a beautiful reality called imperfect progress." and "Imperfect changes are slow steps of progress wrapped in grace....imperfect progress." 

I love how Lysa Terkurst is so down to Earth and shares some of her hardest struggles. We can all glean from what she writes. It is because she is so real that she is so relatable. Seriously. 

So, with the knowledge that I am not the only one who suffers from "unglued mornings" or "1 step back discouragement", I will take another view on all of my messy mornings: Imperfect Progress is still progress and as long as I keep on making some sort of progress, I will keep moving forward in this line. I will keep trying to lace my words with grace and love outwardly in kindness and patience, and when I fail or fall short, I will hike up my big-girl pants and try again.