As I sit here and contemplate life (and how long it will take for the pain meds to kick in and knock me out) I start to ponder about what I know now that no one ever told me....
When I married a military man, I knew he might have to go.....but not when.
No one ever told me that the first year of our marriage would be spent apart. Or that the 2 weeks you got together between military schools was all it took to get you pregnant (surprise!).
No one ever told me that the closer we got, the further he would go and longer he would be away.
No one ever told me that I would do ALL the housework sometimes and most of it the rest of the time.
No one ever told me that I would feel incredibly lonely some nights and not be able to talk to him.
No one ever told me that the hardest part during deployment would be comforting my kids.
No one ever told me that the hardest part after deployment was reintegrating him back into the mix.
No one ever told me that when I needed him most, I wasn't allowed to have him.
No one ever told me what it would take to survive a deployment, let alone two.
No one ever told me that one day I would miss him dearly and the next I would resent him for not being there.
No one ever told me I would need a heart of gold, nerves of steel, quick thinking and common sense to get through another week/month/year of being alone with the kids again. (Forget the sanity....)
No one ever told me that the greatest gifts would come from people who barely know you, but want to help you because they actually are proud of your husband they never met.
Being a military wife and a mother of 4 has got to be the hardest job I have ever had....or plan on having.
I am so proud of my wonderful husband for all he does, but sometimes I just want to lock him away and keep him for myself. I'm sure you understand.
Truth be told....I am glad no one ever told me. Otherwise, I might not have had the guts to try....
Perhaps, if I got the chance to meet a newlywed military wife....I might not tell her either.
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Saturday, November 10, 2012
So tired
Can I just say that doing this whole "single-parent" thing is extremely draining? Even with the kids gone for most of the day for school, I am finding that I am growing more and more tired every day.
We are half way through our deployment period. However, its not getting easier. It seems as if it is actually getting harder. Between a couple of my babes having trouble in school and my injury that needed surgery and being tired all the time....its just a struggle every day.
Is it wrong that I just wanna go spend a day to myself at a spa or some secluded island? Is it wrong that I am hoarding all the chocolate that comes into the house?
Anyway, seems I have some house work to try to do. (Cant do much b/c I am still healing from my ACL surgery, but I can definitely try!) Then nap time. For everyone. :)
We are half way through our deployment period. However, its not getting easier. It seems as if it is actually getting harder. Between a couple of my babes having trouble in school and my injury that needed surgery and being tired all the time....its just a struggle every day.
Is it wrong that I just wanna go spend a day to myself at a spa or some secluded island? Is it wrong that I am hoarding all the chocolate that comes into the house?
Anyway, seems I have some house work to try to do. (Cant do much b/c I am still healing from my ACL surgery, but I can definitely try!) Then nap time. For everyone. :)
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Has It Been That Long??
Has it really been 8 months since my last blog? Wow. Fail. Ok, so apparently my life has gotten a bit busy. A few changes, along with a couple surgeries. Surely I could be forgiven for not blogging, right?
So let me relay that which is currently my life....
May: Husband deploys, leaving me with all the babes and alone...oh boy.
July: Travel to Michigan with mother-in-law (who flew in from Texas) and meet husbands side of the family. Then travel down to Texas. Yes, we drove with all 4 children. And apparently the border guards aren't so bad....Brenden took a picture of the border patrol guy on the Canadian side (both thumbs up nonetheless!) And when the border patrol guy asked Dean if he could have an apple (from a bag of them on the floor), Dean looks at the guy and says "No." I about died from embarrassment and then from laughing after we went through. Kids are a riot...
Spent approx 2 wks in Texas at sis-in-laws and mom-in-laws. Got to see hubby for 4 days. Whoo hoo!
August: Celebrate 32nd birthday. Then 3 days later tore my ACL playing football at VBS. Ambulance ride! Oy. So I spend the next 2 mths in PT working the other muscles so my recovery from surgery is faster and easier.
October: Large lump appears on wrist. What?? Squeezed in for wrist surgery to remove what appears to be a ganglian cyst. Turns out to be an irritated fat bubble....go fig. Surgery goes well. Heals fast. No problems. (Was really concerned because ACL surgery was coming and I couldn't put pressure on my wrist and thats not good if you're on crutches.)
November: Surgery on ACL. Healing very well. Kids are trying to help...but its a struggle. Thank God for friends who come over and clean and help with kids! And thank God for the wonderful ladies who are bringing me dinners until I can make them on my own again!
So now you are caught up. Such a wonderfully busy summer. Not everything happened the way I hoped they would, but its all good! God's got this.
Hopefully it wont be 8mths until I blog again.....lol
So let me relay that which is currently my life....
May: Husband deploys, leaving me with all the babes and alone...oh boy.
July: Travel to Michigan with mother-in-law (who flew in from Texas) and meet husbands side of the family. Then travel down to Texas. Yes, we drove with all 4 children. And apparently the border guards aren't so bad....Brenden took a picture of the border patrol guy on the Canadian side (both thumbs up nonetheless!) And when the border patrol guy asked Dean if he could have an apple (from a bag of them on the floor), Dean looks at the guy and says "No." I about died from embarrassment and then from laughing after we went through. Kids are a riot...
Spent approx 2 wks in Texas at sis-in-laws and mom-in-laws. Got to see hubby for 4 days. Whoo hoo!
August: Celebrate 32nd birthday. Then 3 days later tore my ACL playing football at VBS. Ambulance ride! Oy. So I spend the next 2 mths in PT working the other muscles so my recovery from surgery is faster and easier.
October: Large lump appears on wrist. What?? Squeezed in for wrist surgery to remove what appears to be a ganglian cyst. Turns out to be an irritated fat bubble....go fig. Surgery goes well. Heals fast. No problems. (Was really concerned because ACL surgery was coming and I couldn't put pressure on my wrist and thats not good if you're on crutches.)
November: Surgery on ACL. Healing very well. Kids are trying to help...but its a struggle. Thank God for friends who come over and clean and help with kids! And thank God for the wonderful ladies who are bringing me dinners until I can make them on my own again!
So now you are caught up. Such a wonderfully busy summer. Not everything happened the way I hoped they would, but its all good! God's got this.
Hopefully it wont be 8mths until I blog again.....lol
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Lil Socialites
So here's the deal...If you know me, you absolutely know my son Brenden. He does NOT let an opportunity, to meet someone, go by. Which I suppose is a great trait in a person. My problem is that I usually turn about 4 shades of red because of my son being so "personable". I am not one to just say "hi" unless it is a choice I have made to be extra likeable that day. So when my son just goes about smiling to everyone and waving and saying "HI", I just want to spontaneously combust and disappear.
However, I do realize that this is a very rare trait in todays society- an honest and sincere "Hello". And I admire my son for being so absolutely sunshiney. But I will choose to admire him from under the table in the other room while I wait for said stranger to be FAR away before I come out again. :)
*On another note, my daughter Alexis used to be extremely trusting. She would ask to hold strangers hands, to which I would just about have a heart attack and snatch her up and ask her NEVER to do that again. But what does a 2yr old know? She liked to hold hands....
However, I do realize that this is a very rare trait in todays society- an honest and sincere "Hello". And I admire my son for being so absolutely sunshiney. But I will choose to admire him from under the table in the other room while I wait for said stranger to be FAR away before I come out again. :)
*On another note, my daughter Alexis used to be extremely trusting. She would ask to hold strangers hands, to which I would just about have a heart attack and snatch her up and ask her NEVER to do that again. But what does a 2yr old know? She liked to hold hands....
Friday, February 24, 2012
Like Pulling Teeth
Cassandra Jane Lentz is just growing up too fast! Two nights ago we had a tooth-pulling incident. I had been keeping my eye on her tooth, which was loose for a few nights, but on wednesday, it was ready to come out. So her father and I tried really hard to convince her to have one of us pull it. "NO!" she would yell and start screaming if it seemed as if we would go for her tooth.
Kinda funny...but then daddy started to encourage her to do it herself. He told her to wiggle it and to twist it as far as it would go. So Cassie started doing that. She would stop and let out a little squeal if it hurt too much but she kept going (I was so proud of her to keep trying like that!).
Half an hour later, she finally pryed the tooth loose! We all squealed, and hugged. It was a torturous half-hour! lol. She showed daddy and we took a pic and sent it via cell phone to family and then posted it on Facebook.
Now she just looks so precious! lol. I love her so much....she is just growing TOO fast! In the next couple of years, Dean will be losing his first tooth. Didnt he just get his?? Oy. And so it goes...time flies when you have kids!
Kinda funny...but then daddy started to encourage her to do it herself. He told her to wiggle it and to twist it as far as it would go. So Cassie started doing that. She would stop and let out a little squeal if it hurt too much but she kept going (I was so proud of her to keep trying like that!).
Half an hour later, she finally pryed the tooth loose! We all squealed, and hugged. It was a torturous half-hour! lol. She showed daddy and we took a pic and sent it via cell phone to family and then posted it on Facebook.
Now she just looks so precious! lol. I love her so much....she is just growing TOO fast! In the next couple of years, Dean will be losing his first tooth. Didnt he just get his?? Oy. And so it goes...time flies when you have kids!
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Small Tribute to a Friend. RIP Matt Story.
It's been 3 days since I learned my long time friend, Matt Story, passed away on Friday February 1oth 2012. It has been a struggle to believe this has happened...
Wednesday is the funeral and I just know it will be the reality check I am dreading.
I sit here trying to recall some of the memories I have of Matt. Its been 20 years since I met him. I had just moved to Kendall (7th grade) and he just struck me as odd. He seemed very muscular and sure of himself, but had a very "bookish" nature. Always reading, quoting and joking in ways only a literary genius can. Granted, I didnt get all his jokes (I never did read as much as he did!), and sometimes we just got on each others nerves, but I really liked who he was. Oh, and we hardly ever agreed on things, but that didnt stop us from being friends. He is the kind of person that just doesnt let different opinions come in the way of friendship. Ya know? A rare breed.
I do remember a stint in 7th or 8th grade where a group of us had to recreate a scene from Lord of the Flies. And we did, in Matt's backyard. I was piggy and we were staging his death. (a little macabre) I know, but true. We "killed off" piggy (as I rolled down the mound of dirt in the backyard) and then as a comic relief we tried to "cook" bacon over the fire with sticks. Anyone who knows about campfires, knows you CANNOT "cook" bacon over the fire with a stick. The partially frozen bacon kept falling into the fire and we finally gave up (when all the bacon was gone) :)
We had such fun that night. But to tell the truth, most of its a blur. 20 yrs is a long time to try to remember so many details. I dont really even remember who else was there, but I do remember it was Matt's house and his mom was so kind to us (for letting us "cook" her bacon) and for feeding me spaghettio's. lol... yes, that I remember (probably because I was dressed as "piggy" and I ate 2 cans of spaghettio's all by myself.)
*sigh* memories. I believe the last time I actually SAW Matt was about 8 years ago. I saw him in the mall parking lot. He was bald as a cue ball but still had his facial hair. Not who I remembered seeing in HS but unmistakeabley it was him. We said "hi" and took a min to catch up, but that was it. Then I caught him on facebook and kept well enough in touch. Or so I thought. Now I wish I had made time to see him again and chat or something. Regrets.
So, once again I say: Matt, I will miss you. I already do. Thank you for being you and making my days brighter.
(Since Matt liked quotes, I thought I would write one for him):
"There is no cure for birth or death, save to enjoy the interval" -George Santayana
Wednesday is the funeral and I just know it will be the reality check I am dreading.
I sit here trying to recall some of the memories I have of Matt. Its been 20 years since I met him. I had just moved to Kendall (7th grade) and he just struck me as odd. He seemed very muscular and sure of himself, but had a very "bookish" nature. Always reading, quoting and joking in ways only a literary genius can. Granted, I didnt get all his jokes (I never did read as much as he did!), and sometimes we just got on each others nerves, but I really liked who he was. Oh, and we hardly ever agreed on things, but that didnt stop us from being friends. He is the kind of person that just doesnt let different opinions come in the way of friendship. Ya know? A rare breed.
I do remember a stint in 7th or 8th grade where a group of us had to recreate a scene from Lord of the Flies. And we did, in Matt's backyard. I was piggy and we were staging his death. (a little macabre) I know, but true. We "killed off" piggy (as I rolled down the mound of dirt in the backyard) and then as a comic relief we tried to "cook" bacon over the fire with sticks. Anyone who knows about campfires, knows you CANNOT "cook" bacon over the fire with a stick. The partially frozen bacon kept falling into the fire and we finally gave up (when all the bacon was gone) :)
We had such fun that night. But to tell the truth, most of its a blur. 20 yrs is a long time to try to remember so many details. I dont really even remember who else was there, but I do remember it was Matt's house and his mom was so kind to us (for letting us "cook" her bacon) and for feeding me spaghettio's. lol... yes, that I remember (probably because I was dressed as "piggy" and I ate 2 cans of spaghettio's all by myself.)
*sigh* memories. I believe the last time I actually SAW Matt was about 8 years ago. I saw him in the mall parking lot. He was bald as a cue ball but still had his facial hair. Not who I remembered seeing in HS but unmistakeabley it was him. We said "hi" and took a min to catch up, but that was it. Then I caught him on facebook and kept well enough in touch. Or so I thought. Now I wish I had made time to see him again and chat or something. Regrets.
So, once again I say: Matt, I will miss you. I already do. Thank you for being you and making my days brighter.
(Since Matt liked quotes, I thought I would write one for him):
"There is no cure for birth or death, save to enjoy the interval" -George Santayana
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Fragile Life
Decided to go sledding today at Northampton Park. Took Alexis' friend with us and played for about an hour. During that time, a friend called. Not really expecting a call...but who knows, right? I try to grab my phone out of my coat pocket (dang gloves dont wanna cooperate)....finally get my phone, miss the call and call my friend back.
Sadly, it was bad news: My friend from HS, a classmate and good person, just died of a heart attack. He was only 31 years old.
When you hear something like this, its unreal. You think "no, this cant be...I just chatted with him on facebook a cpl days ago". But the reality is, it is real. Shockingly real.
Anything can happen to anyone in just a moment. Make sure you hug the ones you love and let them know how much you love them. Even if they are just going down to the store or out for the mail. It might be the very last time you get to tell them.
Live everyday as if it were your last.
*Love you all my friends* *Love you too my impossible family*
Sadly, it was bad news: My friend from HS, a classmate and good person, just died of a heart attack. He was only 31 years old.
When you hear something like this, its unreal. You think "no, this cant be...I just chatted with him on facebook a cpl days ago". But the reality is, it is real. Shockingly real.
Anything can happen to anyone in just a moment. Make sure you hug the ones you love and let them know how much you love them. Even if they are just going down to the store or out for the mail. It might be the very last time you get to tell them.
Live everyday as if it were your last.
*Love you all my friends* *Love you too my impossible family*
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